Abyss of Mirrors
by Neurosean
Summary: Castle and Beckett move forward in their relationship, exposing secrets and beginning to heal, all while investigating a unique killer who seems to be as smart, and as dedicated as they are, maybe even more so.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

**This is my first ever fan fiction, so please review and let me know what you think. Right now I am about 2 chapters ahead of what is posted, but I am keen to hear some feedback regarding the story and see if I can improve the future chapters. Some random misc notes…**

**1-No beta, I am flying solo on this. I have looked it over for consistency, and Word's tender spell and grammar check is about all we can count on**

**2- Story takes place after linchpin. Assume "Once Upon a Crime" happened, and that the hand holding was a good step to what we will see here later.**

**3-This is going to weave a good amount of relationship development with what I consider to be a really interesting case. Not to spoil the future chapters too much but two themes I really am going to try and explore are; 1-How do Castle and Beckett react when the criminal is as smart, devious and prepared as they are, and 2- How are they going to balance a relationship with work.**

**Disclaimer- Don't own them, taking them out for spin in my 'verse. Marlow and co are the true creators, we just want to play pretend with them for a bit.**

**Prologue**

The steady hum of fluorescent lights, coupled with the steady drip of water on his head slowly brought him back of hazy awareness. He knew he was sitting, and that his hands were behind his back. An involuntary motion to bring them forward confirmed what he suspected, he was bound. He tried to stand up, despite the pounding in his head and immediately became aware of the bindings around his legs as well. Forcing his eyes open the sudden assault of light caused a spike of pain in his head, and a reactive clenching of his eyes. Opening more slowly this time he gave himself the time needed for his eyes to adjust. Expecting a dingy warehouse or some basement, he was surprised to find himself in a clean well lit room, albeit one filled with glass specimen jars holding variety of human and animal parts. Looking around further he noticed that there were several long counters running along the sides of the room filled with scientific equipment, some extremely modern, some looking ancient. There were no windows and a single door. He struggled with the bindings on his hands, working to try and slide his wrists over the ziptie cuffs, but whoever had put them on had tightened them to the chair to the point of cutting into his skin with the slightest move. The water continued to drip on his head and he looked up seeing a retractable hose hanging off of the ceiling. He looked down and confirmed that the floor had multiple drains on it and was a non stick pebbled surface.

"Great, stuck in the lair of Dr. Frankenstein, surrounded by body parts, scientific torture devices, and an easy clean floor." He muttered out loud.

As soon as the sound had died down, he heard the door start to open and looking straight at it, mentally preparing himself for the unpleasantness to begin. He was greeted with a strange and disturbing sight, a man completely dressed in scrubs, disposable gown, facemask, goggles, surgical cap and gloves walked it. The man walked straight up to him and without saying a word, ripped open his shirt. He then proceeded to apply electrodes, the kind you see in hospitals to measure heart rates, on to his chest in a precise pattern. A leather and metal circlet was then fastened to the top of his head. Both the electrodes and the circlet had wires coming out of them, and they were hooked into a tall standing unit, with numerous dials and gauges. Without saying a word, the man left closing the door behind him.

As the door closed, the lights flicked off, leaving a single point of illumination coming from a desk lamp on the side of the room.

"Are you comfortable?" A disembodied voice came over a loudspeaker, distorted, and artificially lowered.

"If this is because I was late paying that hospital bill, just tell me how much I owe and I am sure we can straighten this out" the man joked.

"Humor, excellent a wonderful method to forestall the panic that I am sure is building within you right now." "I assure you Mr. Castle, this is all in the name of science." "I know you yourself are fond of hands on research, so please allow me the same liberty."

With that, Castle heard the distinctive sound of an electrical capacitor charging and then the immediate anguish of an electrical current conducting through the metal circlet on his head, through his skull, and lighting his brain on fire. He spasmed against the chair as sensation without context flooded over him. As soon as it started it stopped, and breathing heavily, he felt his body lose tension and sag in the chair. It took him several minutes before his mind cleared enough to form thought, and then putting thought to words another minute. Even so his voice was strained and halting as if he was learning to talk for the first time

"Reee…search, how about you…. call this….. what it is, ttt…orture."

"No, Mr. Castle, torture is designed to inflict pain either for punishment or to acquire information, I am doing research, careful, meticulous research, and it's all part of the plan."

"Plan, what plan?"

"Patience Mr. Castle, we have plenty of time to go over the plan, suffice to say, its starts with the perfect murder..."

With that Castle hears the capacitors start to charge again and gritting his teeth, expecting another surge to turn his brain to jelly, is literally shocked when the jolt starts in his chest, blasting the breath from his lungs. And then something extremely strange happens. He feels it suddenly, or more accurately he stops feeling it suddenly. His heart is no longer beating, the steady pulse in his chest is silent, and suddenly breathing becomes impossible, like being underwater. His weak struggles are cut short as darkness starts to close in on him his final thoughts before nothingness are of his family, his friends, and lastly of the woman he loves

"Kate"…slips out with a last gasping breath.

**Chapter 1**

4 weeks ago

Detective Kate Beckett had a bad feeling. It was early evening and the precinct was quiet, with no current active cases on her team's plate Esposito and Ryan had volunteered to go over financials and traffic cameras for Karpowski's case of a hit and run that looked like it was not an accident. Kate herself was catching up on some overdue paperwork, but without Castle there this morning she had powered through almost all of it. She was distracted as her phone beeped at her.

_Save me! _ The text blared.

A momentary feeling of panic erupted in her chest. The text was from Castle and all she could think of was that he had gotten himself into some other situation, and was in danger yet again. Visions of banks exploding, and of tigers flooded her vision before the chime of another text alert startled her.

_Paula shanghaied me into a book reading and signing tonight_

Visibly relaxing Beckett texted him back, a small smile playing on her lips

_I thought you loved your adoring public, not enough cheering fans or chests to sign?_

His reply took less than 30 seconds to appear.

_My favorite fan (and chest) is not here _

Kate smirked at that comment, but she also felt a tingle in her chest, knowing that he was missing her, and if she was honest with herself she was missing him.

_I'll tell Espo you miss him and his rippling pecs._ She wrote back trying to stifle the laugh.

_NOT what I meant, or wanted to visualize right now…Come visit, free food!_

Looking around again she noted that Gates was out of the office, some sort of budget meeting, and Ryan and Esposito seemed to be finishing up their good deeds with Karpowski's team.

"Hey guys, I am going to head out, call me if we get a body, but once your finished head home and pray for a quiet night"

They boys waved to her, fist bumping in excitement about their early day, but they deserved it and she knew Ryan wanted to get home to Jenny at a decent time, and Espo…well maybe she was going to make Lanie a happy woman this evening.

Striding out of the precinct towards the parking garage she reflected on her evolving relationship with Castle. Things had slowed to a crawl recently with them, neither one seeming to want to break the détente in their lives. Kate was still seeing Dr. Burke and was making progress dealing with her issues. She was beginning to find a balance again, knowing that her mom's case and her shooting did not have to rule her life. She was still not sure how she wanted to broach the subject with Castle, since she knew that whatever she did was going to have to start with her confession that she remembered everything from the shooting. Some days just knowing that he loved her was enough, and other days she wanted him to know that she loved him. Those days were becoming more frequent, especially in light of the situations he had found himself in with Serena and Sopia. Kate knew that at some point, even as much as he loved her, he would accept being in her life in a non-romantic way and would seek someone to fall _in_ love with. She was desperately trying to avoid that, but she knew unless she did something that was where they were heading, and she did not know how much more time she had left.

She arrived at the book store within 30 minutes, taking a couple of side streets to avoid the rush hour commute. Moving to the front door she noted a sign on the door advertising the book reading and signing. Pushing open the doors she was greeted immediately by a wall of people in front of her. Moving around the edges she was able to get closer to the front and to her favorite author.

Castle was dressed in his normal dark wash jeans, blue button down and black jacket. He was seated in a comfy looking leather chair and on the table next to him were a short stack of Derrick Storm and Nikki Heat books. He was holding Heat Wave in his hand and was reciting one of the more dramatics sections. Kate loved listening to him read; his steady voice was infused with emotion and drama as he brought his words to life. She sometimes took for granted his skills in the literary world, having come to trust and depend on his investigative skills. She clapped along with the rest of the audience as he finished, and Paula quickly came up next to him and announced that the book signing and meet and greet would be held in the back of the store and would start in 15 minutes. Castle disappeared off to the side as the crowd started to migrate back. Kate figured she would catch up with him later and started walking back as well. She was startled when a hand grabbed her elbow and dragged her to the side

"My heroine, come to rescue me from the horde of coeds and bored housewives" Castle laughed as Beckett steadied her footing.

"Geez Castle, watch it, I almost pulled my gun and shot you, and while I know your lifeless corpse can't sue the city, these poor workers would be left to clean up the mess, plus your disappointed fans" She joked with him. "But seriously that was a nice reading. I forget these days that you are also a world renowned author."

"Well thank you Kate." He said with a touch of modesty and genuine appreciate. She knew that he had shed a lot of his playboy persona in the last year in the press. Paula and Gina had initially been reluctant to let him get out of the public eye, but it became apparent that his book sales were not slumping, and the stories that he did make it into often revolved around his involvement with the NYPD and the real life Nikki Heat so the angle of real life crime solver and mystery writer was continuing to bring in new readers.

"Time to go sign some chests Castle?" Beckett asked trying to lighten the mood and egg on the twinkle in his eyes.

"You know I am not doing that anymore right?" he asked. Her surprised looked told him she didn't.

"Since when?"

"Since the release party for Heat Rises. I told Paula and Gina that I would sign books and pictures, but no more chests, plus I had them change up the themes for my book launch parties. I invited more friends, more people I met through the 12th, and a wider selection of fans from teens to grandparents, and we did a silent auction for the Police Widows and Orphans fund. It felt right and it felt more appropriate after everything that had gone on with Montgomery."

Kate was shocked, she knew that she had missed the launch party during her recovery, but no one had told her about it and she assumed that it had been a raucous affair more suited for a frat party than a book signing.

"That's really nice Castle, I wish I could have been there"

"You were there in spirit, and your literary alter ego was there, so it all worked out."

Rick glanced down at his watch, "I have to head back, but why don't you stay for a bit, there is food and we can go out for coffee or to the Old Haunt after."

"Alright, I'll hang around, maybe look around a bit and see what new books are out." Castle's wounded look brought a smile to her face "Patterson's new book is out and I think I saw something about a new James Bond book by Deaver." Teasing him with her implied dalliance with other mystery writers.

"Second rate hacks" he muttered as he headed towards the back, stopping briefly to grab Kate's arm and drag her along with him at least to the back gathered crowd. He smiled and walked over to a long table at the front of the crowd and sat down with Paula starting to direct traffic.

He signed for about two hours, as Kate got a plate of food from the small buffet they had set up and wandered around. She picked up a few books looking for something new but nothing caught her eye. She wandered back to Castle and saw that the signing line was almost completely done, but that a fair number were milling around the buffet talking with each other and obviously waiting for Castle to come mingle.

Kate sat down and took the opportunity to observe Castle in his work environment. She saw him finish up signing and get up. Catching her eye he indicated he was going to grab some food and mingle. She nodded at him, but continued to sit and watch him. She saw the fans gravitate towards him and watch as he engaged them in small talk, answered some questions, shook some hands and took some pictures. Several of the more nubile guests gave him hugs, and even though she initially flinched she could see that he was returning the hugs in as innocent a manner as possible.

"Excuse me, Detective Beckett?" Kate was jarred out of her Castle watching, by someone coming up in front of her. Looking over and up, she saw a young man, in his late twenties, dark hair, green eyes and glasses staring at her intently. She noted wryly that he was wearing a corduroy coat with patches on the elbows and looked like a too young professor.

"Yes, can I help you?"

"Dr. Andrew Drake" the young man extended his hand. "I am a big Richard Castle fan, and I recognized you from some of the articles about Nikki Heat."

Beckett groaned a little internally, as much as she was secretly flattered that Castle had based a character off of her, she was still a little weirded out by fans who thought of her as the real Nikki Heat.

"Pleasure to meet you Dr. Drake."

"Please call me Andrew, I must admit I didn't expect to see you here as well as Mr. Castle."

"Spur of the moment decision, sometimes Castle needs me to provide an escape plan from these parties."

Drake laughed at that and Beckett found herself warming to the man, noting he did not seem like an obsessed fan or star struck at meeting her, just curious to meet and talk with her.

"What kind of doctor are you?" Kate asked, curious.

"Forensic psychologist, actually. I teach at Columbia and I have a small consulting practice."

"Consulting?"

"I work with prosecutors and defense attorneys evaluating clients and suspects during trials and for sentence recommendations"

"So you're an expert witness then."

"I guess that is the court's term. I have been doing it for about 3 years now. It was actually Mr. Castle's books, and his insights into the criminal mind that initially got me interested in psychology."

"Ohh god, please don't tell him that, his ego can't get any larger or I will never be able to fit in the elevator again with him"

"What about my ego?" Castle's voice sounded over her left shoulder. Glancing back Kate saw him about a foot behind her, his eyes on the man in front of her.

"Dr. Andrew Drake, say hello to Richard Castle" Kate spoke up, "You have my permission to sign his chest if you want Castle"

"Thank you no" Drake stammered. "The book is fine."

"Pleasure to meet a fan, though should I ask to see some I.D. to make sure you are old enough to buy that book?" Castle asked with a laugh

"I assure you Mr. Castle I am old enough to buy this book, as well as drink." Drake countered with an amused grin.

"Well in that case call me Rick, and it truly is a pleasure to meet you, did I hear the lovely detective Beckett say that you are a psychologist?"

"Yes, actually forensic psychology, I primarily teach and do expert witness patient consults, but I have been trying to get more involved in profiling, and working with state and federal law enforcement."

"Really, hey Beckett, don't you think it would be cool to have our own profiler on retainer" Castle sounded like a kid in a candy store.

"I thought you were the master of the criminal mind" Kate gave him a pointed look

"Dedicated amateur. Still to have access to someone who actually does psychological profiling. You wouldn't mind if I picked your brain sometime about some of the cases you have worked, some of the crazies you have dealt with?"

"Well crazies is not the technical term, but sure, I would be more than happy to sit down with you. Perhaps you both could return the favor? I have been trying to get more profiling experience, but starting out is tough, and without getting called in on a case it is hard to put the profiling into practice."

Castle looked down at Kate "What do you think; maybe we could use him on a case or two?"

"I'd have to run it by Gates, and you know how she is about "consultants", plus I don't think we have any room in the budget for outside help"

"Detective, please, there would be no charge, I am really looking to help, both the department and myself. The more experience I get, plus some positive references, the easier it will be to offer my services, or have my services requested from any kind of law enforcement agency. I would be more than happy to talk with your superior about my offer, and offer references from my expert witness work as well. Let me at least give you my card so that you can contact me, even unofficially."

Drake handed both of them a card. "It was a pleasure meeting both of you, and Mr. Cas…I mean Rick, thank you for the signed book, I look forward to speaking with you in the future."

"Very nice to meet you as well." Castle shook his hand.

The young man turned to leave and Castle turned back to Beckett and grabbed her hand. "Come on, I told Paula I am out of here, I did my "Famous Author" work for the day, how about we get out of here before my cheeks go numb."

Smiling at him, she got up and didn't immediately move her hand from his grasp. "Ok, so where to?"

"Old Haunt? I need to check in anyway, and I wanted to show you the renovations to my office there."

"Did you spring for padding all of the walls, or did you chose dominatrix pleasure palace?" Kate asked with a smirk.

"Neither, though I think I may have a spare dominatrix outfit lying around somewhere if you want to help me redecorate" Castle leered

"Why, have you been a bad boy?" Kate responded in her faux Russian accent, knowing that would certainly give him pause. She was not disappointed as his eyes glazed over and did not track her as she started walking towards the front door.

"Come on Castle, you promised me a drink." Snapping out of his (ohh so naughty) thoughts he hurried to catch up to her and they walked out of the book store, shoulders bumping into each other several times on the way out.

Beckett pointed down the street slightly, to the crown vic, looking shiny and new after its tune up with the CIA. "Our carriage waits."


	2. Chapter 2

****A/N All relationship all the time...don't worry we need to work through it so we can get to the case and also set the stage for their new work and home dynamics.

**Chapter 2**

They arrived at the Old Haunt fairly quickly. Beckett sat down at the bar and ordered two glasses of wine, as Castle went to go find Brian, the manager. The new bartender, Robbyn, was a pretty brunette, a single mother who was working two jobs to help take care of her kids. Beckett knew that Castle had personally hired her, and was reimbursing her night school expenses for getting a paralegal degree. Beckett had talked with her a number of times and had put her in touch with her mom's old law firm.

Castle came back, waving to Robbyn, and grabbing his wine glass. "Ready to head down?"

"Sure, you have me curious about this redecorating"

Hooking her elbow with his arm, he guided her to the basement stairwell and motioned for her to head down.

Getting to the bottom of the stairs, Kate let out an audible gasp. Castle had completely redone the office. Dark wood paneling covered the walls, and the floor was done in a dark cherry wood. A large desk covered with papers took over a whole corner section, but the rest of the office was dominated by 6 large chairs around a round table, a book case filled with books, and a small mini bar. On top of the mini bar were several of the infamous red glass bottles of scotch as well several other high end liquors. Framed prints, some of his book covers, others of his favorite movies- Forbidden Planet, Star Wars, Maltese Falcon, and China Town. Recessed lighting, dimmed, gave the room a warm and inviting feeling.

"Castle, wow, this is fantastic. When did you finish this?"

"About 2 weeks ago, but we have been so busy; I haven't had much time to enjoy it. I set it up to be my new poker hangout, and just a good get away. I was going to have you and the boys down soon, but it's just been so crazy."

"Well I am sure that they would love to visit, our next off days are in 4 days, assuming that we are not in the middle of a case. How about I help you set something up."

Castle looked at her, somewhat surprised that she was helping him make the plans. "That would be great, see if Lanie and Jenny want to join as well."

"Sounds like a plan." Beckett took a seat in one of the plush chairs, folding her legs underneath her. Taking a sip of her wine, she saw Castle watching her, tenderness in his eyes, as he took a seat next to her, raising the wine glass to his lips.

Both of them sat silently, each lost in their thoughts, even though they kept stealing glances at each other. Castle broke the silence first.

"How's your dad doing?"

"Fine, he was back at the cabin for a week with some of his friends for a guys week. I am going to try and have dinner with him in a few days.

"He should come to the poker party'" Castle offered.

"I'll ask him, I think he would like that." Beckett replied. "How are Martha and Alexis?"

"Good, mother is spending a lot of time at the acting school, but it seems to be paying off, one of her star students, got a decent part in an off Broadway show, and a couple of her other students have lined up some commercial and TV work. Alexis seems to be enjoying her shadowing with Lanie, I know she is learning a lot. Maybe too much."

"I really should apologize for that, I didn't mean for her to hear that, and I wasn't being fair to you." Beckett replied, knowing that she and Castle had moved on from the argument, but still not addressed it, like so many other things in their relationship.

"No, I should have been more honest with you about Sophia. I guess I was nervous about how you would view our…partnership, knowing that I had shadowed another muse. It is true though, what we have is nothing like what it was like with Sophia and me."

"I know, and for what it's worth, I understand. I told you that all women keep secrets for the sake of a relationship, and its not just women. To be honest, Rick, I was jealous. I was jealous that you had something with her, that you looked at her and her cool spy toys with such awe, and that she seemed to know you better than I did."

"She knew the old Castle, Kate, not the person I have become the last four years. Being your partner has changed me. Despite the jokes and innuendo, you have to admit that I have matured, become a better person, and it's all because of you."

Kate looked at him, noting the conviction in his voice. How could she tell him what he had meant to her, how he had saved her, not just her life, but her sanity, her emotional wellbeing? "Castle…Rick.." The words seemed to dry out her mouth. She was so close, she wanted to tell him that she heard him that day in the cemetery, that she remembered everything and that while she couldn't dive in to the deep end just yet, she was hoping he would take her hand and wade out a little deeper with her.

"Kate?"

" I remember the cemetery!" she just blurted it out, the words tumbling out like a shot, her secret no longer able to be contained.

"I remember getting shot, I remember you tackling me, I remember you holding me and I remember you telling me that you love me." The words came out fast and she was not even sure how coherent she was but she saw the look of shock that came over his face as he struggled, his body not sure to lean back in shock or lean forward to grab her hands.

It took him long agonizing seconds to get his tongue working, his writers mind struggling to form a coherent thought and then translate that into words.

"I..I am not sure what to say." He got up and paced around the office, his head down, not looking at her. "Part of me is not surprised; I think at some level I suspected that you heard me that day. But why Kate, why tell me now?

"You deserved to know" her voice sounded stronger than she felt.

"That may be true, but it's not what I want. Telling me you heard me doesn't matter, what does matter is what you think about that, what do you feel about those words?" He had stopped pacing, had taken a step closer to her and was watching her intently.

"I am not sure to be honest. I told you the truth that day on the swings, but what I had not realized at the time that maybe there was another way, that maybe I didn't need the wall to come down, but that I needed someone to help be build a bridge over it. That's what I have been working on in therapy, getting to the point where I can accept what happened to my mom, what happened to me, and even if its not resolved, right now, that it won't stop me from living and loving." Her eyes had grown dark, and tears pooled at the edge, every so often slipping down her cheek.

"Are you saying you want to build a bridge with me?" Castle asked, taking another step forward.

"I'm saying that you are the only one who has been able to get me to accept that there is another way to live. Yes, I want you to help me build a bridge, and I want you to help me become someone worthy of your love, and someone who can return the feeling without reservation."

"Kate" He breathed and grabbing her arms pulled her up to him in a warm embrace. She accepted it, wrapping her arms around him, and hugged him as hard as she could. She felt happy, more complete than she had in a long time and despite the remnants of tears in her eyes she felt a smile on her lip.

"Kate, I need to tell you something." His voice sounded shaky.

"That you love me?" Kate replied with a low growl.

"I do love you, but I have something I need to tell you, it's about your mom's case, about your shooting."

Castle could feel her entire body tense at his words. He gripped her body tighter as he leaned his head back to look at her eyes. "Please let me speak, let me explain before you react." Kate tensed even further, but Castle could see a resolve in her eyes that she was going to give him the benefit of the doubt, for the moment.

"After you were shot, you know that the boys and I worked your shooting, we left no stone unturned, and we followed leads that were thinner than a hair. You know it led us to the banking files, and you know that the fire seems to have destroyed them. I know you so badly wanted to dive back into solving your mom's case and by extension your shooting. You know that I tried to get you to slow down to let it lie. What I didn't tell you was the full reason why."

Castle loosened his grip and silently directed her to sit. Kate was so focused on his words that she numbly sat.

"After you came back I received a phone call. It was a man, he said he was a friend of Montgomery, that Montgomery had sent him some files, files that if they were released would damage and damn some very powerful people. Apparently Montgomery was using these files as leverage to keep his family and you safe. Before he made his stand he wanted to make sure that his family and you would be protected even after his death and so he sent this man those files. Mr. X, as I call him, told me that it was now my responsibility to stop you from investigating any further, and that if I did that, then these files would ensure that you would stay safe, that you would stay alive.

Beckett sat there, unmoving, not making a sound, but Castle noted that her eyes had dimmed, her face had slackened. Internally pushing himself, he knew he had to tell Kate the whole truth.

"Mr. X said it was the only way to keep you safe, that these men would kill you, kill your father, and possibly even Montgomery's family. What he never said was that anyone else, including me, couldn't look further. So I did. I pushed you to let the case lie, so that I could keep you safe, but I kept investigating, hoping to try and bring you the justice you deserve. I hadn't learned much, though I had some theories that were making sense, were rational even, by my standards. And then the mayor got involved.

"The mayor?" Kate's first words let Castle know she was listening, and that as hard at it was for her, she was going to let him finish the story, before likely walking away from him for good.

"While we were investigating Wheldon, I received another call from Mr. X. We met and he told me that Wheldon was being targeted, both as a means to end his political future, but as a means to remove me from the precinct. With Wheldon gone, I would be kicked out, and then no one would stop you from looking into the case. I assumed that this was a ploy to target you again, and negate any leverage by saying that Mr. X had not followed through with his part of the bargain. After we cleared Wheldon, things Jordan Norris said, things that Wheldon said, let's just say that one of my more out there but possible theories got some circumstantial support."

Castle, who had been pacing during his confession, stopped in front of Beckett, grabbing her hands he knelt down.

"Kate, I want you to know that I did this to protect you, that I was willing to forgo building a life with you in order to keep you safe. I am the last person to want to see evil win, but I could not, I will not, let justice for your mom come at the expense of your life, and I know that she would not want that either. You can hate me, you can leave, but know that I will never stop loving you, that I will never stop trying to protect you, and that I would give up everything I have to protect you, just like I would my mother or Alexis."

Beckett's tears were slowly making their way down her face as he watched her struggle to process what he had just said. In light of her confession, that she was trying to move forward without having closure, he hoped that he could find it in her heart to forgive her.

Standing, Kate began to pace the office. Castle noted with a slight relief that she did not try and flee the basement as soon as she stood.

"I don't know what to say Castle. I am angry, devastated, sad, relieved, happy, and in awe, all at the same time and I don't know what to say or do."

"I know Kate, I know this is tough. I can see a future for us, but not with those secrets hanging over our heads. But we have a choice to make, and one that will define how our relationship starts, or ends. What do we want to do? I am honestly not sure anymore what to do about the case, there are so many dead ends, so many theories without facts, without evidence. What you said earlier about building a bridge, if you really meant it, then I am willing to drop the case, but you have to promise me the same.

Kate looked at him, focused her eyes on his. "What if I can't do that?"

Sighing, Rick rubbed his eyes as he sat down. "I am not sure, let me ask you this, IF…and this is a big IF, we worked this case together, would you step away if it meant saving my life, saving your life, and not getting an answer?"

"Yes!" the speed at which the reply came surprised them both. "Rick if there is one thing that the therapy has helped me understand better is that living my life is not disappointing my mother. I know that she is dead; she can't be disappointed or angry with me. Living my life means not letting my mom's death consume me, and finding a balance."

"I am still so unsure of what to do Kate. I have this feeling that we are pawns in a larger game, and at the end of the day we are going to get sacrificed. No one has threatened me, no one has tried to kill me, so whatever I am doing, they either don't care, haven't noticed, or I am being protected by someone else."

"Kate do you trust me?" Castle stood and moved closer to her

"With my life." She replied.

'Then here is what we are going to do." His authoritative tone shocked her, not used to taking orders. "We are going to work this case together, but we are going to do it on my terms. First all work related to the case is done at the loft. Second you will not meet or talk with any leads that we develop. Third if at any point either of us begins to feel uncomfortable or if even the hint of a threat is directed at one of us or our family, then we stop, immediately, and we do so with the full knowledge that it might be permanent."

Lastly, if at any point I think you are getting to deep into the case, to the point that it is affecting you, I will put the investigation on hold or stop it for good."

Kate looked at him, and he could see the anger and annoyance at him filtering through her face and her eyes. He said nothing, wanting her to accept the terms, and by doing so accept his role this investigaton. He kept staring at her watching as her emotions battled with her rational mind.

"Rick, the only way that is going to work is if you agree to my terms."

He tensed, waiting for the battle to begin, knowing that when this went badly that their whole relationship was likely finished. But she had done him the courtesy of listening to his terms, the least he could do was listen to her's and see if there was anything he could salvage from this

"First, you have to share everything, and I mean everything that you have found and think you have found with me, and you will tell me immediately when you have something new. Second, if any point I think you or your family is being threatened then we stop, no matter the cost. And lastly, that if at some point I decide this is no longer worth it and we close the investigation, you will NEVER, re-open it without my express permission."

Kate's face remained stoic, her eyes locked on Castle. His eyes focused on her, as he desperately tried to read her. He knew he could live with her terms, but he needed to know how serious she was about living up to her end. All he could see reflected was a quiet resolve, hope, and yes still love.

Striding forward Castle captured her in an embrace, but instead of closing in for a hug, his lips desperately sought hers. Shocked at first, she responded, returning the kiss and deepening it, slightly parting her lips to allow her tongue to crash into his. Neither one wanted to break the kiss, but the need to breathe, and their quickening heart rates had them both pulling apart at the same time. They remained close, his arms around her waist and her hands resting slightly on his chest.

"Is that a yes?" she asked.

"A thousand times yes, Kate." He replied pressing another kiss to her lips.

"One last thing." Kate whispered. "I don't want to start working on her case right away, I want to make my life a priority for a bit, make our relationship a priority. We let it go for another month, and we take the time to enjoy life and each other, and then we will sit down and start, together."

"I would love nothing better." He placed a quick kiss on her lips again, thinking that he was never going to tire of doing that.

"What do you want to do now?" He asked letting her lead the pace, giving her the control he knew she needed in order to feel comfortable with the massive change that had just taken place in their lives.

"Home, Rick, take me home. I don't want to rush things, but there is nothing I want to do more right now than fall asleep with you beside me, wake up tomorrow morning with you beside me, have breakfast with you beside me, and go to work tomorrow with you beside me. Always"

His smile could have lit a city. "Always."

Turning to leave, he held her hand and they ascended the staircase back up to the main bar. Walking outside they made their way to the car and Castle opened the driver side door to let Kate in. She smiled and watched him, excitedly walk to the passenger side to get in. Pulling out into traffic she turned left and started to accelerate.

"Kate, your going the wrong way, your apartment is back that way."

"I said we were going home Castle." She replied, and she saw the look of pure love and wonder cover his face. "Besides I like the coffee and breakfast food at your place better." She joked with him.

A/N

I was a little unsure about tackling their secrets and I am not sure I got the essence right. I tried to veer away from too much angst on this reveal, even though I am sure the show is going to play that aspect up, I remain hopeful that their love is strong enough to not make them run away but face their secrets and fears together. Next Chap is more relationship than the case starts... Alerts and reviews are always appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**A/N- So this chapter continues on the relationship front, further defining the start of their romantic journey. The roller coaster for the case will begin next chapter which is ¾'s written and should be up by Friday.**

True to her word, she and Castle had gone back to the loft. It was getting late, but still early by their weird schedules. Regardless both felt exhausted, emotionally more than physically and Kate knew that they both need to get a good night's sleep in order to deal with the changes that were going to be happening tomorrow, especially at the precinct.

He took her coat off as they stepped in, and glancing around surmised that Martha was not home yet.

"What about your mom and Alexis?" she asked.

"Mother isn't home right now, and as for Alexis, lets see." He walked over to the stairs can called up "Alexis!"

They both heard a door open and a few seconds later Alexis came bounding down the stairs.

"Hi Dad, Kate" the redhead replied.

"Hi Pumpkin how was your day?"

"Not bad, Lanie gave me this really interesting paper to read on using GC-Mass Spectrometry to detect minute quantities of synthetic heroine in blood and body tissue.

"You wild and crazy girl you."

"Well I did go and see a movie this afternoon with JD." Alexis continued, earning a glare from her father.

"A movie date, and I was not informed." He huffed.

"Chill Dad, it's not like I snuck him back to the loft and am currently hiding him up in my room." Alexis replied, keeping a perfectly innocent look on her face. "Besides, it looks like I am not the one that might have company sleeping over."

Castle looked shocked, but realized that that as Alexis had been talking that he had unconsciously drifted over to Kate, and had put his arm around her shoulder.

Kate also looked like a deer in headlights, realizing that she had snuggled closer to Castle when he had put his arm around her shoulder.

"Umm, yeah Pumpkin, Kate and I had a really good talk and I think we are making some progress."

"Progress, frankly if hugging is where you guys are at, everyone at the precinct is going to be retired before they can collect on the pool about you guys getting together." Alexis smirked.

"You know about that, I'm going to kill Lanie." Kate said.

"Relax Kate, I am glad for both of you, and honestly even if you are taking it slow I am glad that you both opened your eyes and realized what everyone has been seeing for some time now."

"Dad, don't screw this up ok." Alexis continued, focusing on her father.

"I am going to try my best not too," Castle replied.

"And you too Kate, please don't shut us out like you did last summer, we care for you and once your part of the family it's for both good and bad times."

"I appreciate that Alexis, and I am going to do my best to be better about letting the people that care about me, that I care about, help me when I need it and be there for me, just like I want to be there for them."

"Well I am going to head back upstairs, JD might be getting lonely."

"Alexis" Castle raised his voice genuinely worried for a second.

"Joking Dad, joking, but seriously I would like for you to meet him soon."

"Sure Pumpkin, let me find where I left the severed head."

"Dad."

"Or better yet, Kate can you be here, and bring your gun, maybe let me borrow a shotgun?"

"Castle." Kate smacked his chest and rose up to give Alexis a hug.

Leaning in Kate whispered "Thank you for understanding."

"Always" Alexis replied. Breaking the hug she turned, kissed her dad on the cheek and went upstairs leaving Rick and Kate alone.

Castle went into the kitchen and proceeded to open the fridge "Would you like anything, water, tea, coffee, wine?"

"A glass of wine would be great, and then we can sit down and talk some more, I like this new found openness."

Pouring two glasses Castle joined her on the couch. Tipping their glasses together they silently took a few sips.

"So Kate what do you want to talk about, I know you wanted to wait on seeing what I have on your case and your mom's but I can show it to you now if you want."

"No, I meant it when I said I wanted to wait, I have lived with it for so long, I just want to try and live my life for a bit. How about you tell me when you realized you loved me?"

"Honestly I am not sure I could pinpoint an exact time. I knew I was jealous of Demming, but I think that was me just being territorial, I liked you, but it was still too physical at that point. Gina came by and even though I knew deep down that it was a mistake I wanted to feel wanted again, and not hurt."

"I think it dawned on me when I pulled the wires on that dirty bomb, that if I had to die, there was no one I wanted by my side more at the end than you. It just grew from there until the night Montgomery died, I knew that I would do anything to protect you, and even though we had fought, I was always going to be there for you. Plus around that time, the songs all started to make sense to me."

"Funny, I guess in some ways my feelings mirrored yours, we have always been in synch in a lot of ways, just terrible about letting the other person know. I dumped Demming that same day and right before Gina showed up I was ready to go to the Hamptons with you Rick. When you left I was angry and hurt, and I tried to move on. Josh was just another guy I met at first, but he was nice, smart, and was not always around, like you had been. I think it gave me a false sense of security about the type of relationship I wanted. The dirty bomb was kind of the same for me, I just felt so grateful that at the end you were there holding my hand and that you were going to be the last thing I saw and felt. But my shooting changed so much."

"There were a lot of reasons I didn't call during those 3 months. Some of it was physical, I was in so much pain and my rehab was consuming so much of my time. Part of it was emotional, Montgomery, my mentor, was not only dead, but involved in the same plot that had led to my mom's death, and to my near death. You saying you loved me was just so frightening, since I knew deep down what that meant. I know the type of person you are, and the lengths that you will go to for the people that you love are tremendous. Part of me knew I needed to get stronger and be able to heal physically and emotionally so that I could love you back, or else I was not going to be able to be the same Beckett, the same Kate that you fell in love with. "

Kate's voice began to tremble at the end, and Castle reached around and embraced her. "You are the same extraordinary woman that I fell in love with, your scars, physical and emotional are a part of you, and the fact that you survived, that you have gotten better than before makes me love you even more."

"Thank you Rick." Kate whispered into his ear.

They sat there in each others arms for a while, silently reflecting on the night. Kate leaned back into him and felt at peace for the first time in a long time.

"You want to head to bed; tomorrow is going to be an interesting day at the station" Castle asked.

"Yeah, I am tired, but please can we keep this quiet at the office for a while. I will tell Lanie soon on my own terms, and honestly I am sure Espo and Ryan, being trained detectives will pick up on it sooner or later. I am worried about Gates, and I would at least like to have some time being in a relationship and productive at work so she doesn't think we will get too distracted."

"Sure Kate, I will keep the groping and kissing to a minimum, wouldn't want to get caught acting out that interrogation room fantasy that I have now would we."

"Castle." She growled.

"Kidding, but seriously I will be on my best behavior, at least for me. Really when you think about it, except for the kissing, hugging, and hopefully other stuff later, it's not like our actual feelings about each other, for each other, are different tomorrow than they were today. We have both played the game for so long I think we can keep up the façade at work at least for a little while. And in all seriousness Kate, I would never do anything to jeopardize your job, or my ability to be your partner, at least knowingly."

"I appreciate that, and I promise that while we are on our best behavior there are still plenty of opportunities and ways during the day to show you how much I do love you, and who knows maybe one day we can get the interrogation room to ourselves.

**A/N Thanks for all the story and author alerts, and for the few reviews I have received, an extra big thank you. Now for an extra incentive to review, a chance to choose two story elements for the next chapter, so please review and let me know your choices:**

**(Pick 1) Oil, Mud, Pudding, or Jello**

**(Pick 1) Italian, Chinese, Sushi, or Burgers**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**A/N So the case starts here. As always I don't own Castle or the associated characters, just taking them out for a spin in my own little world. Thanks for the reviews, story and author alerts, I hope everyone is enjoying reading as much as I am writing. Special thanks to GloriaJV who provided me some answers to my requests at the end of last chapter, and thus their choice for lunch (and a nice extra detail). As a complete aside I was also inspired to finish this chapter tonight after eating at the Elephant and Castle Pub in Washington DC…I am sure you all see the connection **

The dim rays of early morning were beginning to creep into Castle's bedroom. Spooned together, Rick on his back with his right arm around Kate's shoulder, as her face was nestled on his chest. Both were sound asleep, with almost matching relaxed expressions on their faces.

Their peace was shattered by an obnoxious ringing coming from the Kate's phone laying on the nightstand. She went to automatically reaching for her phone, years of behavior automatically guiding her to the answer button and a gruff "Beckett".

"Ok. Where. Alright yeah I'll tell Castle. What do you mean don't eat first. That bad huh. Beckett flavored, and Castle twisted, ok. Alright we'll see you in about 30."

"Castle wake up we got a body, Espo says it's a bad one, something right up our alley."

"What does that say about us." He mumbled as he struggled to wake up.

"I guess we're just special. Espo said it would be best to do this one on an empty stomach so go make us some coffee while I hop in the shower."

"You sure you don't want any company?" Castle did have an extremely swoon worthy morning bedroom voice, and Kate shook her head to try and clear the thoughts of them in the shower together away."

"Another time, come on, let's get ready." She stood up and started walking over to the shower, but just as she got to the door she looked back and saw Castle trying to fall back asleep."

"Castle wake up." She said a little louder and with her back to him, took off her tank top she had slept in. One hand over her chest, she threw the shirt over his face. He immediately jumped awake, looking at the piece of clothing in his hands, and then quickly over to the door to his bathroom, to see the extremely naked back of Kate Beckett, her borrowed boxers too large on her, hanging on her hips, mere millimeters from being indecently low.

"I'm up, I'm up."

"I am sure you are." She looked back at him and teased as the door closed.

There was weird, there was Beckett and Castle flavored, and then there was this. Kate knew immediately after stepping past the yellow tape that this was something different, and judging by the way Castle seemed to tense up as they came across the crime scene, it looked like he agreed.

They had been called to an industrial park, a series of warehouses adjacent to a number of small office suites. Apparently the night guard doing his last patrol before the morning shift started, had noted one of the lights on in a supposedly vacant warehouse. Figuring it was squatters or kids, he had gone in to investigate and roust the offenders. What he had found inside had make him sick, and he still having trouble talking as the EMS crew sat with him, taking his vitals.

They saw Lanie off to the side, talking with Ryan and Esposito and they walked over to them.

"It this really what it looks like?" Beckett asked them.

"At first glance it is." Lanie replied

They saw the body, bound to a wheel chair. The most obvious fact was that where the face was supposed to be, there was a mass of bloody tissue and bone shards. The body was clothed only in a pair of boxer briefs, and there were what looked like EKG leads placed on the chest, with evidence of circular electrical burns scattered on the chest. Walking around, Beckett could see the back of the head, mostly spared from the damage done to the front, was itself a disturbing sight. The scalp was bare, apparently the victim had his hair shaved off. Small circular bruises were scattered around, the chaffed and red marks visible from the pale white of the scalp.

Next to the body was a small folding table and laid out on its surface was a collection of personal items, including a wallet, several keys on a key ring, some wadded up papers, a couple of pens and a single piece of white paper, neatly folded in half.

"What is this?" Castle spoke, his hushed tone drawing blank stares from the rest of their small group.

"I have no idea, I if I am being honest, the fact that you are freaked out about this is making me extremely nervous." Beckett replied.

"I passed nervous about 10 minutes ago." Espo said.

"We have an ID?" Beckett still felt uneasy, but knew she had to get her team focused on the case, not on the grotesque display.

"No luck. There was no ID on the body, and there is a wallet on the table over there but no ID, just some papers and cash. It also looks like his fingers have been dipped in some sort of corrosive, meaning that finger prints are a no go. Clearly dental records or facial recognition are not going to help much either." Espo replied.

"Night watchman found him about 6:00 am. He said this warehouse is supposed to be unoccupied, and has been for about 8 months. That's pretty much all we got out of him, but I did get his supervisors name and I called and he is coming down to talk with us about their security plans." Ryan answered.

"Lanie, should I even bother to ask about TOD or COD?" asked Beckett

"Not until I get him back to the morgue, I can tell you that it looks like a shotgun did that to his face, and it looks like it was done postmortem. It also doesn't look like he was killed here. I don't see any blood splatters, outside of the expected droplets associated with him being wheeled in here. I'll get CSU to do a full sweep of the room and see if anything else turns up.

"Alright, Esposito and Ryan, you guys finish up here, see what the security guard and his supervisor can get you, and see if this place has any sort of security cameras or anything that can get us some clues. Castle and I are going to start sorting through this evidence back at the station and see if we can find anything.

"Yo, Beckett, you might want to take a look at this first." Esposito had picked up the folded piece of white paper on the table, noting it looked slightly out of place with the rest of the crumpled and obviously used personal effects.

Unfolding the paper, Castle leaning over her shoulder to read, Kate saw typed bold text.

**I have committed the perfect murder. Catch me if you can. I have left you all the clues you need to identify my subject here and maybe to even find me. **

**Are you two smart enough?**

**See you soon.**

"Well that just jumped this up to a 12.9 on the weird and creepy scale." Castle remarked.

"Great, another psycho who thinks that killing people is a game and that we want to play along." Beckett replied. "Ok, get CSU to bag and process this as fast as possible, I want to start looking it over,"

Knowing this was going to be a long day, Castle and Beckett stopped to pick up some coffee, and some breakfast, glad that they had taken Esposito's advice not to eat before going to the crime scene. They got back to the precinct a little over an hour later to find that the crime scene technicians had delivered sealed bags of the personal effects to the conference room complete with an inventory and preliminary notes.

Beckett looked over the list, "so they dusted everything for prints, and they couldn't find a single one. Apparently everything was wiped down."

"Lets see what we've got." Castle had pulled on pair of gloves and started to spread the material around on the table to get a better view." "Concentrate on anything that might give us a clue to who our mystery man was?"

Beckett nodded, pulling on her own pair of gloves, and grabbing the wallet. Opening up the evidence bag she opened the wallet and spread out the contents. There was no ID, no credit cards, nothing with a name on it. There was $200 dollars in cash, with at least 50 of it in 1's and 5's. There was an expired subway pass from 2 weeks ago, indicating that the victim had boarded a train at 81st St, on the D line by the Natural History Museum. There were 2 ballpoint pens, one from a bank and the other from steak house.

Castle had started with the key ring, noting that there were no car keys, or at least a car key with a recognizable emblem. There was a bronze key, with a "Do not Duplicate" warning on it, a small silver key, and another bronze key, smaller, with a narrow tapering end and few grooves. He moved over to the crumpled up papers, gently smoothing them out. He looked over them; the first was a flyer for a program at the museum, "Brain Awareness Day" set for two days from today. The next was an advertisement for a bar called WAM, and the last was a printed sheet of paper, with what looked like computer programming code written on it.

Glancing over at Kate he asked "Anything jumping out at you?"

"Not really, no neon sign saying my name is…" "There seems to be nothing too unique in the personal possessions, but maybe if we link it together somehow."

"Well the keys are not labeled, I have a flyer for a museum program about the brain, an ad for a bar, and what looks like some random computer code.

"Museum, hold on a sec." Kate quickly grabbed the subway pass. "I have an expired pass for the D line near the museum."

"Anything else that gives us a physical location?" Castle asked.

"The pens, the bank is on East 62nd, the steak house is on East 57th."

Castle looked at the bar ad "The bar is on East 62nd as well. What are you thinking?"

"Everything we have collected so far points us to a small geographic area. Do you think its where our John Doe lives or works?"

"Possible, but it seems a little too coincidental. Clearly our killer went through his possessions, and left us only these clues, it's a game and these are our supposed to help us make our first move."

"Well even narrowing down an area is not going to help too much, it's not like we have a photo or name to ask anyone at these locations about, and going in asking about a white male in his 30's is not going to get us too far." Becket felt the beginnings of a headache as she rubbed her temple. She stood up and walked back to the bullpen.

"I am going to set up two boards, one for our victim, and one for our killer. How about you take what little, to nothing, that we know about our killer and spin some theories, and I'll fill in what we have on our victim. Lanie said she was going to make our John Doe her priority this morning so maybe after lunch she'll have something more for us."

Castle seemed a little taken aback, she was indulging him in his wild theory building, and letting him have an entire murder board to himself to start coming up with their killer's story. Standing up he promised himself to take it seriously, but not too seriously, this case was screaming for psychotic ninjas or government cyborg assassin.

Beckett and Castle spent the next hour in virtual silence, standing next to each other, but both lost in their respective boards. Kate's was neater, sections detailing the victims physical attributes, what they were able to determine at the scene, and the personal items with their locations. She had flipped the board and put a map of New York on it and was now busy pinning the addresses gleamed from the personal effects, as well as the location of the warehouse.

By contrast Castle's board was significantly messier. He had crafted a spider web pattern, putting up a picture of a question mark inside a clip art head, with a double headed arrow to a picture of the victim. He had a copy of the letter, taped up, and had rewritten the text and circled several words. Lines coming out from the victim detailed some of the wounds suffered by the victim and underneath each were lists of implements and possible professions with access or reasons why to use them.

Both had stopped momentarily and looked over at the other. Beckett noted with an amused sigh that Castle had a big grin on his face and saw that at least one entry in each of lists contained some outrageous item, like under professions with access to a shotgun he had put in Elmer Fudd.

"Switch" Beckett said.

Immediately they swapped spots and both went to the others board to look over the work that had been completed. Over the next 30 minutes they made notes, crossed out lines and added notes to the boards. Stepping away Castle looked over to see Beckett tapping a dry erase marker next on her cheek and looking at both boards.

"This makes absolutely no sense" she stated, never moving her eyes from the boards.

"Tell me about it, whoever our killer is, he clearly put some thought into this, and it doesn't look like he made any stupid mistakes."

"It's just so much harder to figure this out when we don't even know who our victim is. Right now we can place him in a rough geographic area, but that's about it."

"Well if our killer planted those items on the body there must be some reason, something about those locations will guide us to more information.

Ryan and Esposito came back into the bullpen at that moment, moving to put their jackets on their desks. "What did you guys find out?" Beckett asked.

Ryan started looking over his notes. "Not a whole lot. The area does have some cameras, but most are personal use for the offices. Guard does rounds every 2 hours, and it takes him about 45 minutes to do his route. He was still pretty shaky, but was pretty certain that there were no lights on at his 4 am check. He said he didn't recall seeing any cars moving through the area and the last car in was around 9 pm. I asked about trucks and vans and he said they come in and out all the time for the offices and warehouses, but the last one in that was logged was at 7:30 pm. He said that after 5 all vehicles coming in should be logged, but since he was out making his rounds, and they have not hired another night guard, he left the sign in log at the guard booth while he was walking the area.

Esposito jumped in "Warehouse is been vacant for about 8 months, previous tenant was a online gag gift store, they used it to store inventory. Security chief thinks the last time anyone was in there was about 2 months ago, said that the owners were showing the space to some prospective tenants. Other than that no one reported any strange vehicles or people wandering around the area and no one had reported any other break ins."

Beckett took a quick second to organize her thoughts and game plan. "Ok well until we gt a TOD from Lanie its going to be tough to narrow our time frame down. Why don't we grab some lunch and then we can look over the surveillance tapes for the last 24 hours and see if we see anything, since its likely whatever happened, some part of it took place on premise within the last day."

Castle had his phone out and was scrolling through his take out ordering app. "What does everyone feel like?"

"Chinese" "Burgers" "Italian" all three detectives responded with a different answer. Castle looked at all three of them, then thinking about it for a second, said "Italian it is, we could use some comfort food after this morning."

He saw all three of them nod in agreement and Ryan and Esposito wrote down their orders. Ryan turned to hand the paper to Beckett, but she waved him off muttering "he knows what to order me." Ryan threw Castle a funny grin, but handed him the paper and Castle stood up to walk into the break room to place the order.

Lunch arrived about 45 minutes later, Castle going downstairs to pay and bring the food back up. The detectives had already cleared the break room table and grabbed a few sodas as Castle walked in, the aroma of red sauce, garlic, and oregano announcing his presence.

They all dug in and after about 10 minutes of enjoying their meals, Beckett got up and cued the first security tape, one looking out from an office front window, which was around the west corner from the warehouse. Starting at 7 am that morning he ran the tape backwards at 3X speed looking for signs of activity. One hand on the remote and the other using a fork to spear a piece of meatball from her plate of spaghetti, Beckett attentively looked to see when a car or a person would come into frame. Ryan would note the time and description on a pad. As soon as Esposito finished eating he took the paper and started to cross reference with the guards sign in logs. From the first sheet he noted 2 cars and a van that did not appear on the guards log. Noting their times he handed the highlighted page to Castle, who had just finished his meal. Throwing away his containers he went to the victim murder board and filled in the make, location and time on the tape of the unregistered vehicles.

They repeated the process for the next 2 hours, noting when all was said and done that approximately 9 cars and 3 vans had some in after 5 pm and did not appear to have been logged by the guard or signed themselves in. they were able to get partial license plates on 4 cars and one of the vans. Ryan and Esposito started digging into the license plates, and Castle and Beckett headed down to the morgue to go see what Lanie had been able to find.

**A/N**

**Coming up…Lanie, autopsies, sleeping arrangements and some time out in the field.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**

**Sorry this took so long to update, I have been traveling so much for work, plus my family responsibilities. I hope you enjoy, I have most of the next chapter written, a shorter more family oriented affair, and then am planning on a lengthy chapter 7 to get us back into the case.  
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**Chapter 5**

As they approached the door to the autopsy bay, Beckett bumped Castle's shoulder, giving him a look full of love, squinting her eyes slightly. He understood immediately, behave yourself.

Walking in, they saw Lanie sitting at her computer, entering in notes from her clipboard.

"Find anything for us Lanie" Beckett asked.

"More questions than answers unfortunately and nothing to helpful" Lanie replied as she stood up, grabbing a pair of exam gloves and walking over to the sheet covered body.

"Here's what I have so far. I confirmed that the shotgun blast to his face was done postmortem. There are some contact burns around the temple suggesting that weapon was held fairly close to the face, but at an angle and distance designed to prevent any damage to the back of the head or the top. I did find a couple of injection marks on the body, and I have the tox screen at the lab now, we should get a list tomorrow. Other than that the rest of the external wounds, bruising and burns, were not fatal."

"So we don't know what killed him?" Castle asked.

"Settle down writer-boy, I did find something unusual on my dissection of his heart muscles. There is some abnormal damage around his A/V node. I think whatever caused the burns on his chest was electrical and I think whoever did it was smart enough to stop his heart with an electrical pulse."

"A reverse defibrillator?"

"It's possible, you would have to have some basic electrical engineering knowledge, as well as some heart physiology, but otherwise it's not an overly complex method to kill someone."

"What about time of death?" Beckett quizzed.

"Hard to tell. Rigor has not resolved, so I would guess less than 48 hours. Liver temp suggests a time of death greater than 24 hours, but with the body being moved it's hard to account for external temperature changes."

"Anything that might help us identify him?"

"Not much, I found some faint scarring on the arm, suggestive of carpal tunnel surgery, but the fading suggests the surgery was at least 3-5 years ago."

"The only other thing I noted was that there was some sort of oily residue in his pubic hair. It's the only hint of trace material I could find on the body"

"Any idea what it is?" asked Beckett

"Lab has it now, should have the breakdown by the morning?"

"What about those round red welts on the back of his head?" Castle asked.

"I'm not sure, but they are evenly distributed across what remains of the back and top of the head. I called a friend of mine who is a neurosurgeon, given the reverse defibrillator I wanted to see if the pattern could be some sort of jury rigged neurosurgery device."

"Maybe it's a mind control helmet." Castle remarked, a slightly mischievous grin on his face as he quickly ran through what he would use a mind control helmet for.

Beckett snorted at that response "Come on Manchurian candidate, let's go put the information on our murder boards."

"Thanks Lanie, let me know if you find anything else, and call me as soon as those lab tests come back, we are still swimming upstream trying to figure this one out and without a solid lead on who are victim even is, finding the killer is going to be tough."

Heading out of the autopsy bay back towards the street, Castle looked around, and seeing no one in the hall leaned over and kissed Kate on the cheek.

Pulling back he could see the started look on her face, as well as the blush reddening her cheeks.

"Castle!"

"Sorry, couldn't help myself, plus I checked there was no one around."

"Seriously?" she replied, desire mixing with annoyance

She smacked him lightly in the chest, but grabbed his hand and held it all the way to the car.

Arriving back at the precinct they both went to work on their respective white boards. Kate filled in the TOD time line and marked off some notes regarding when the body could have been dropped off in the warehouse.

Espo and Ryan had finished running down the license plates and had generated a list of registered owners. All 4 of them sat in front of the murder boards and bounced some ideas around. Talk turned to their plan of attack for the following day, seeing how it was getting late and no other reports were going to be coming in that day.

"I want you and Ryan to start talking to the registered owners that you guys pulled. Even if none of them are our murderer, they are the best potential witnesses we have right now." Becket instructed Esposito.

"What about us, victim follow-up?" Castle asked.

"Yeah, we have a narrow geographic range to work in, plus I want to go to this program about the brain at the museum, so far it's the only piece of evidence with a time and a location on it and if our killer is trying to send a message or communicate I want to be there."

"Field trip!" Castle's excited response and the gleam in his eye made him look like a kid in a candy store.

Beckett shot him a quick eye roll, and then turning back to Ryan. "One more thing, Ryan can you take that paper with the computer code on it down to your tech friends and see if they can decipher anything about it."

Sure thing boss, I'll have Keith, my computer guy take a look first thing tomorrow and see what he can make out of it."

Breaking out of their huddle, Beckett went to update Gates, who appeared to be packing up for the evening. Ryan walked back to his desk and called Jenny, and started making dinner plans, and Espo powered down his computer with one hand, while texting with his other. Castle was tempted to pull out his phone and play a game while he waited for Kate, but figuring he would make a better impression on Gates as she was leaving, he walked back over to his murder board, and went back to looking that the killer's note.

Richard Castle was a self proclaimed expert on many things, but his true calling of writer, had gifted him with an almost unnatural sense of reading meaning into words. The way they were put together said as much as the words themselves and he found himself deconstructing the killer's notes even further.

**I have committed the perfect murder. Catch me if you can. I have left you all the clues you need to identify my subject here and maybe to even find me. **

**Are you two smart enough?**

**See you soon.**

The first thing he focused on was the word choice, nothing overtly basic or overly complex in the choices, so he assumed a normal educational experience, at least a high school graduate. The tone of challenge was evident, and it clearly was designed to illicit a response from the people reading it. There was a clear link set between the killer and the victim. Given the sentence structure, it was leading one down a progression from victim to killer, plus the lengths that had been gone through to conceal the victim's identity, meant that figuring out who he was, would link back to the killer in some way. The use of the term "subject" was unusual; not victim, but he was not sure how the context was useful. Clearly there was also some level of personal involvement, the killer specifically knew that "two" people would be investigating. With no evidence to suggest otherwise, Castle could only assume that he and Beckett had been targeted in some way, even though their team was more than just the two of them. The final parting shot, no threat, no plea to stop or threat to kill again, just stating that there would be some future level of interaction made Castle shudder slightly. Clearly whoever had committed this crime had a larger plan in place.

Beckett left the captain's office, satisfied that Gates was aware of their progress, and in her stern, yet endearing way, had agreed with Beckett's plan of action for the following day. She walked up behind Castle, noting how deep in thought he appeared, seeing his eyes scanning and rescanning the killer's note. She placed a hand on his shoulder, and he leaned back slightly.

"Ready to get out of here?" she asked.

"Yeah, though to be honest I think my mind is going to be running in circles for a while trying to puzzle this one out."

"Well let's go home and see if I can get your mind on something else." Kate almost purred into his ear. She saw his eyes widen, and he grabbed her hands, trying to pull her towards him.

She pulled out of his impending grasp, narrowing her eyes at him as she motioned very slightly around her, spending an extra second on the closed door behind her leading to Gate's office. Kate let her face relax, smiled and then grabbed her bag and looping her arms through his walked them towards the elevator.

As the doors closed she turned to him, and wrapped her arms around him, and gave him a look that told him, now it was ok to engulf her in a hug, and that is exactly what he did.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Sorry this has taken so long to update, real life keeps getting in the way. I am so psyched for the finale on monday. Personally I am really looking forward to how they leave off since I think its going to be a great jumping off point for a lot of wonderful fanfics for the long summer months of hiatus.  
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**See after the story for A/N pt 2.  
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**Chapter 6**

Kate and Rick arrived back at the loft, after stopping at Kate's apartment for a change of clothes. Both were still committed to taking it slow, but Rick had sensed a desire in Kate to remain in physical contact as much as she could, a way to make up for all the time that both had wanted to touch and comfort the other but couldn't.

In the car on the way to the loft, Kate had hesitantly brought up Alexis and Martha again. She was still not sure that his family approved of her, and dragging Castle into her world of danger and trauma.

'Kate, believe me, my mother and Alexis both know that you love me, and that you would do anything to protect me. I like to think that they are also both proud of me for growing up a little bit, doing something meaningful with my life that helps others."

"I am sure they are Rick, but it still hurts, knowing the pain I caused you, and how your family had to suffer with that as well."

"I'll admit last summer was tough on them as well as me, but I think we are at a point where we all realize the pain we can cause each other and we all love one another to not want to do that anymore."

"I just don't want to screw this up."

"You won't, I am there every step of the way, and I am counting on you to not let me screw this up either." Castle leaned in for a quick kiss, trying to reaffirm to Kate that they were in this together.

As they walked into the loft, they saw Martha sitting on the couch, her customary glass of wine next to her, reading a large spiral bound book. "Good evening, Richard dear you didn't tell me we were entertaining. A pleasure as always Detective."

"Please Martha, it's just Kate."

"Alright Kate, well what are you two crazy kids up to." Both could tell from the look on her face that the older woman had sensed some shift in their relationship.

"Well I thought we would order in dinner, and have a nice family meal, all together." Castle replied.

"Together, Richard, that sounds lovely, it's nice to see that everyone is together here." Martha winked at Kate, stood up and embraced her in a hug.

"Hopefully we are all together for a long, long time."

"I hope so to Martha" Kate replied, awed at how Castle had welcomed her into his family, and how his family had opened their home and their hearts to her.

"Is Alexis home yet, Mother"

"She got back about 15 minutes before you did, ran upstairs to take a shower."

As soon as she had finished her sentence, Alexis came wandering down the stairs, and took in her father and grandmother huddled around Kate. Wasting no time she went to the small group and embraced them all in a giant hug.

"What's for dinner, I'm starving" she asked.

"What are you in the mood for Pumpkin?"

"Chinese sounds good, what are you in the mood for Kate?"

"Chinese sounds good to me as well."

Rick walked into the kitchen to grab the menu, his phone in hand pulling up the number. Martha motioned to Kate to sit down, while Alexis said she was going to finish up a few things before dinner.

"So I see you and Richard have made some progress in your relationship. May I ask what brought this change about?"

"I was honest with him, I told him that I heard him say he loves me when I was shot. He also confessed to me that he has been working on my mother's case, and my shooting."

"I must say when you two decide to make progress, it happens pretty fast. Kate I know that Richard said he loved you, and believe me, he was devastated when you said you couldn't remember. I don't begrudge you your reasons for not divulging it, but please know that he loves you and that he would do anything for you."

"Believe me Martha I know, and I want to be there for him, as well as you and Alexis. It's been so long since I had any real family outside of my dad, I want you to know how much I appreciate it and I am going to do my best not to take it for granted."

"Excellent, well, hopefully you too will move a little faster with the rest of your relationship, I wouldn't mind another grandchild or two while I am still young enough to enjoy them"

Kate's eyes widened, and she could feel blush covering her cheeks, but Martha simply patted her hands and stood.

"If you'll excuse me I think I am going to put this monstrosity of a script back up in my room, yell when dinner is here."

As Martha retired to her room, Rick came back into the living room, and noted Kate's still somewhat shocked expression.

"Everything ok?"

"Yeah, but I think I just got the "When are you going to have kids" talk from your mother."

Rick's face mimicked Kate's reaction; however he recovered much more quickly. "Well…ahh…I guess…geez." He rubbed his face quickly. "Look, lets just say that conversation is a ways down the road, we still have a lot of progress to make before even thinking about thinking about that, but let me just say Kate, when its time, my answer is yes, only with you, and as many as you want.

Kate looked at him, her eyes widening again, but she could see the sincerity in his gaze, and it gave her the strength to momentarily let her mind wander, thinking about a little boy running around the house, brown hair and green eyes, chasing a small girl with curly hair and brilliant blue eyes.

"Rick, when its time, much later down the road, I can think of nothing that would make me happier."

They both leaned in for a kiss that quickly started to gather in heat and intensity. Before it could lead any further the doorbell jarred them both back to reality and separating with a grin, Rick stood to grab the food, and Kate went into the kitchen to get the plates and silverware.

Calling everyone down, they all enjoyed a wonderful meal together. Kate quizzed Alexis on how her internship with Lanie was going, and what she was learning. She asked Martha how the acting school was going, and how her students were. Martha asked about her father, and she replied that he was doing well and would hopefully be visiting with them soon.

Dinner wound down and after all the leftovers were put away Martha returned to her room lamenting that her brain was starting to hurt from having to read such a massive script. Alexis asked if they wanted to watch a movie before bed, and they all settled on watching Old School. Alexis and Kate took turns comparing Rick to characters in the movie, and both Rick and Kate regaled Alexis with slightly toned done exploits of their times in college.

By the time the movie was over all three were starting to fall asleep. Alexis roused herself from the couch first, stood and wished both her dad and Kate a good night.

Kate was nestled in Castle's arms. "So did I do a good job?"

"A good job on what?"

"Distracting you from having your mind run in circles over this case."

"What case.." he leaned down to kiss her lips, mouths parting slightly and tongues caressing.

Both of their hands were wandering and their kisses started to deepen. After parting in order to catch their breathes, Rick cradled her face with his hands.

"Kate, I know we are taking it slow, so let me know if I am going too fast."

Her only response was to kiss him deeper, and run her hands over his thighs.

"I think 4 years is slow enough, if your crazy enough to love me, then I'm in love with you enough to dive in."

Castle's face practically glowed, and he stood up, pulling Kate up with him and wrapped her in a hug. He whispered into her ear

"You have no idea….how much I love you."

"Why don't you stop talking about it, and show me."

At that Castle scooped her up into his arms and proceeded to his bedroom.

**A/N 2**

**My plan is for next chapter to start the morning after and delve back into the case. It may take me a little bit since I am still plotting out the case. I did want to ask- Anyone interested in a M rated chapter 6.5, uploaded separately? I have not really tried writing smut but I like to think that I have some decent ideas. Let me know and if the interest is there I will put one up. As always your reviews are welcome and comments and suggestions, especially as related to a M rated chap. 6.5 are always appreciated.**


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